Ted and Bill

Exp'r'ment t'figure out if a Goblin an' an Orc are really yer buddies an' trust ya complt'ly!
1- Give a 'uge bazooka t' the Orc.
2- At the distance o' fefteen feet, place the Goblin, clearly in front of the Orc so that the latter can't miss 'im. Place an apple on the Goblin's head. If he's smilin', you can tell he's a decent 'nuff sort!
3- Order tha Orc to aim and then fire... BOOOOOOOOUMMMMMM!
4- See the result!
If the goblin's been turned to paste, we can deduce that with an apple and two decent fellows, what we managed to get is these two as bodies! Ha! Ha! Ha!
The exp'r'ment's a success!
All you need to do now is run fast while hoping the Orc doesn't know how to reload the Bazooka!